Education and Training as part of D/s
One of my favourite scenarios in a D/s kind of relationship are related to education and training of the submissive partner. Being presented with the gift that the respective submissive partner allows me to influence her in a way that she [semi-]permanently alters her behaviour, her habits, or whatever else I desire. Isn't this the biggest, most influential and intimate gift one can give another person (or receive, in my personal case)?
Before talking about what I enjoy about training/education games, I think it is important to distinguish between the various kinds of relationship that the two respective partners are in.
- role playing
- bdsm-play relationship In a relationship that is either only for BDSM (specifically D/s) play, where the respective partners just meet for play and have their own 'real life', do not form a love relationship / partnership, there is actual possibility for training. However, whatever will be the spcific training goal, the changed behaviour will only apply within the BDSM setting, and not or only unintentional extend to the real life.
- love relationship with bdsm-play
- 24/7 TPE or the like
Some people just like the role they are playing associated with training. It's not important whether there actually is any success, and in fact they don't actually want to achieve any behaviour change. In fact, they can start with the same setting next time all over again, and the to-be-trained one can forget everything. It's merely about playing the situation of e.g. a teacher/student kind of setup. While I can understand why that setup, much like any other role playing, is of interest to certain people, it really isn't interesting to me.
Basically similar to the last category. However, the partners are also involved in a love relationship. Any BDSM related play however happens within a specific setting, that is clearly distinguished from realtiy. Any submission (and consequently any training) only happens within the well-defined play setting.
In this situation, the partners agree to let the game become reality. The submission of the submissive partner is permanent, and the dominant partner can actually perform training that effects the real life, real personality, real behaviour.
My personal fascination in this area belongs to into the last three forms of training in relationships as indicated above. Obviously [for me], there is an increase of fascination and interest from the for-play-only down to the 24/7 form.
As for training goals, my personal favourite is to turn the submissive partner into my ideal sex slut, my personal sex toy. What does this precisely mean? I like to train her to understand and follow my personal preference of a dress code. She will e.g. have to learn that skirts are almost always a must, that naked legs with no nylons or pantyhose are taboo, that bodies are preferred over panty/bra combinations, that boots almost always overrule most other styles of footwear, that shoes which visibly show the toes are unacceptable, and so on.
As for training of sexual practice, I definitely enjoy training her to learn deep throating, to teach her how to properly offer her body in the [for me] most attractive way. She will learn how to behave "slutty", how to show off in a sexy way, how to expose herself with various grades of sublety, initially for me, and later on (if that is acceptable to her) for others.
As for general behaviour (within the 'play time', if it is not 24/7), she sould learn how to behave appropriately in my presence, e.g. show her affection, make others understand by various means that she really belongs to me - an intensity of belonging in excess of what most people can imagine :)
Now one or the other reader might be asking himself: Yeah. This jerk just wants his perfect slut. Where will he ever get it from [apart from his dreams], and what does she get from all of this? Let me reply like this: Whatever I've mentioned here, I'd like to train her to be able to do it. This doesn't mean that I constantly require her to do any of that! And what does she get from it? Well, first of all, we're talking about somebody who is already enjoying the mere act of submission. Under this presumption, I can use this submissivness to make her go further down that road. To put the bit of extra motivation and sometimes even pressure onto her that makes her go beyond where she would have gone on her own. But in a direction that she herself finds sexually and or otherwise arousing and pleasing. I have no intent nor joy to train somebody to be something that she doesn't acutally enjoy being.
This is not all mere phantasy, but I've actually been lucky enough to be gifted with [play-]partners to actually engage in working on a lot of the training goalds outlined above. And I was having the best time of my life :)
Last but not least, in my opinion and from my experience, any kind of training within the bdsm context will only work if the to-be-trained partner is at least as submissive as masochistic. If she is primarily masochistic, she will actually voluntarily do things wrong in order to be punished, and the punishment is actually a reward and not a punishment anymore.
A partial workaround for this dilemma is to distinguish between punishment that is attractive to the masochist, and punishment that is actual punishment. The former, original punishment then becomes the reward. Do you agree that this sounds confusing? Yes, I think it is confusing. But it seems to do the trick for some couples.