Training - Goals vs. The Journey

A common theme in D/s, specifically also in my kinky world is the concept of the dominant training their submissive. This can encompass many things, dependent on the specific kinks of the partners involved. For example in my kinky world, repeating themes of training include:

• deep throat training - improving the ability of the submissive to handle cocks and dildos deep into her throat, overcoming/managing the associated gag reflex and managing her breathing.

• corset training - practising and improving the duration (and extent of lacing) the submissive can wear corsets.

• high heels training - practising and improving the duration (and heel height) the submissive can wear high heels; can include muscle and stretching exercises like those done by ballet dancers.

• posing/posture training - practising being on display for my viewing (and groping) pleasure

To me, the following aspects make training interesting for me:

The submissive can improve herself and her skills + capabilities to [even better] satisfy her dominants wishes. She can show her devotion by investing considerable time and effort, and the dominant can recognize, appreciate and adore her for that devotion. She can do something that makes him proud, and in return she can get and feel his approval and pride in her and her [improved] abilities.

One aspect that can be a source of confusion is the question to what end or with what goal is the training performed? When is it complete? In my view, there are of course immediate goals. To give some examples

• a set amount of time per day of wearing a specific corset laced to a specific extent.

• a dildo of a certain diameter that can be shoved down her throat, or a certain duration she can keep it there.

• the length of a dildo gag that she can endure wearing for a certain period of time

When whatever such goal has been reached, she should be appreciated, complimented and rewarded in some way (the latter of course highly depends a lot on the specific person and what would be a reward to them).

But to me, usually, it doesn't have to stop there - at least not immediately. The point of training is not just to learn something once, but to keep practicing and if possible, improving upon it. One can always try to deep throat longer, wear larger dildo gags, wear a tighter corset or wear it longer, etc. Eventually, at some point of course, a limit is reached where it's no longer safe or physically impossible. Or where it's simply too painful to endure, compared to the amount of recognition/appreciation/reward/pride the submissive is getting out of it. And then of course it's time to stop and possibly go back a step.

But even then, it's not over. There are always other things that a good girl can be trained in, even when she's (in the above example) the most skilled deep throating cock sucker; or even when she has reached the limit of how much corset lacing she can take. Then one can gladly move to another topic and train her there.

I think the subject areas/topics are up to debate by the couple, and ideally some topics/goals are chosen which both sides find attractive in a kinky [or any other] way. That doesn't always have to be the case, but if not, then maybe pick one subject from his wishlist, and one from hers, and start them in parallel. of course, if she's so submissive that for her it's all about doing whatever, as long as under his command/instruction: So be it.

What about, for example, training:

• the amount of time she can keep my hard to semi-hard cock in her mouth (I have quite a lot of endurance)

• the amount of times she can get me off within one day

• the amount of times she can seduce me to fuck her within a day (seduction skills can never be overrated)

• her ability to have multiple [possibly even forced] orgasms

• the degree of revealing / sexy / slutty clothes she is willing to wear when going out together in public

• the extent of being on public display she can handle; whether at a kinky party or even in general public

• how much sexual activity she dares to enjoy in semi-overt or overt public situations

• her ability to perform sexy lap dance, pole dance, belly dance or other forms of showing off her body for [at least] my pleasure. Needles to say, I'm happy to pay for classes.

• the flexibility of her body; stretching exercises are sexy to watch, and increased flexibility can be very useful during many sexual positions or for bondage.

• how long she can be kept horny/randy/needy without release and what she's willing to do to get release

So to summarize this post: Yes, training is of course in the short term about achieving some kind of improvements and reaching some goals. But for the longer term, it's far more than that, I believe it is an end in itself. It's all about the journey of her improving her skills in her submissive role - and my role in enabling, motivating, guiding, encouraging and appreciating her on her journey.

It's about trying new and more things, reaching the [current] limits and potentially (though not necessarily) at some point pushing those limits further out and see if she can do it and how it makes her (and me!) feel.