Thoughts on degradation / humiliation and inverted terminology

A number of people get their kink from what is generally described as degradation / humiliation. As a practical example, a slave/sub can be forced to show her self off in a slutty way in public. Or even in private, some people consider it degradation or humiliation if the dom is calling the sub a slut/whore/fucktoy/...

I also like to see and treat my partner that way. But I somehow fail how that would be a degradation. To me, my partner that is making herself available to be my slut/whore/fucktoy is worth more than before. So from my point of view, this is not a degradation from the previous status, but actually a promotion. The latter is worth more to me than the former.

So once again this shows the true meaning of the word perverted. What some people or maybe even the general public considers to be worth less, I consider to be worth much more.

The same happens to good girl vs. bad girl. To me, my partner is a good girl, if she's nasty, kinky, perverted. On the other hand, if she were to ignore her kinky side and prefer to be vanilla, she I would consider it a bad girl.

Starting to twitter

Today I've started to twitter using the 'randompervert' twitter account.

This will provide me an opportunity to provide more frequent and short/concise updates, mostly from my phone while I'm travelling. It helps to capture thoughts as they occur, in real-time. It's much easier to write a 140 character message containing one thought than to sit down and write a blog post.

Constrictive fashion: It's not only about suffering for beauty

In a number of my previous posts on my various fetishes for items like corsets, high heels and other constrictive clothing, I have primarily focused on the suffering for beauty aspect. While this is certainly the predominant reason, there is yet another one: Wearing a corset or high heels makes the woman wearing them helpless.

Since her movements are restricted in some ways, she is more likely to require support or assistance from the man on her side: She has to depend on his support for safely walking in stiletto heels on a street paved with cobble stone or other less ideal surfaces. A tight corset will prevent her from bending down far enough to reach her own feet to tie (or even more importantly:untie) her shoelaces, or to pick up something from the floor. Once again, she will have to rely on somebody else's help.

Wearing some kind of gloves (satin, Lycra, latex, ...) also adds a bit to the helplessness. A lot of things are much more difficult when wearing gloves, starting from the most simple of tasks such as turning pages of a book to typing on a computer keyboard. Sure, it can be done, it requires extra effort and that's where we're back to the suffering for beauty concept comes into place. But in addition to that, there is the feeling of being helpless and having to rely on somebody else (her master), becoming more dependent.

Out of luck again

This blog hasn't been updated in ages. In fact, ever since I became seriously involved in my last relationship, I didn't really have the desire to update the blog. I don't really understand why that is (maybe this is subject of a future blog post). But what I definitely do know: Now that this relationship has unfortunately come to an end, the desire to blog about my kinky side has immediately returned.

So here I am again. And my luck seems to have left me. No more sexy/slutty girl around to cheer me up. Lots of plans suddenly vaporized. Lots of high-end Jacquard fabric for corsets that were never made. Lots of high heels, made-to-measure Lycra suits, fashion pantyhose and other items that I will never be able to see and feel on the woman I loved and still love in many ways.

No, I don't want to drown in self-pity. But it is definitely very sad, and besides the loss of a great partner in a relationship, there is the loss of the fetish object that she was in addition to being a beloved person. Two losses in one, so to speak. Time for self-reflection and hopefully soon for recovery.

What a lucky bastard I am.

I'm sitting in my home office and getting some work done, while in the bedroom next door is a lovely woman dressed in garters, stockings, high heels with her legs spread, moaning in response to the stimulation of one of those butterfly style toys.

Once again the kind of decadence that I like. Having her around and do this kind of stuff, while being able to continue work as usual. As if it was the most normal thing to do. And in fact, to me, it is ideal if this kind of setting feels "normal". Like it should always be. A horny slut at home, shamelessly engaged in pleasing herself sexually any time she wants.

Going out with two fetish girls

Following-up to the successful day bathing/swimming/dining with the two fetish girls, I decided to take them out to the current revue at the famous Berlin Friedrichstadtpalast.

I sent detailed instructions about my outfit preferences, and they both wore shiny black Lycra on their legs, a tight-fitting corset, matching skirt as well as high-necked Lycra or velvet leotard underneath the corset. Both were wearing the same Pleaser ELECTRA-2036 platform boots.

Before and after the show, as well as during the breaks they were obviously the two most attractively dressed women in the entire audience. And I was the lucky bastard who could hold one of them in each of his arms, grabbing their tightly corseted waists :)

During the show I was obviously also sitting in between both of them. It was most pleasing to touch and caress their Lycra-clad thighs, shoulders and arms while watching the most excellent performance of the artists on the stage - many of them wearing equally tight-fitting costumes :)

I honestly cannot remember the last time I had that much fun than those last two days. Makes me feel like the most lucky man on the planet :)

Going out with two fetish girls

During the last week I had the great pleasure of going out with two fetish girls at my side.

The first trip was to a public pool/bath, where both girls were wearing skintight lycra bodysuits in bright blue and green, clearly different from the typical bikinis that other female visitors would be waring. We hugged/cuddled/kissed/fondled quite a bit while bathing/swimming in the various different pools.

It was an absolutely great feeling, for two distinct reasons:

  • First, being a lycra fetishist, I obviously enjoyed watching the two girls, and especially being able to touch them as much as I please ;)
  • Second, the feeling that everyone could see that I was not only with one girl, but with two girls, and that we were obviously having a lot of fun beyond the traditional one-male/one-female model of relationships. This is just the kind of decadence that I like. I bet a number of the people who were watching dreamt of doing something like this themselves, but just didn't have a chance to experience it yet.
The experience was great, we did not get any comments at all, and the looks from other people where not negative in any way, maybe curious or amused. One of the girls was asked what kind of suit she was wearing while she was alone for a couple of minutes. But even that was just a curious and question of an interested person.

After the day in the bath/pool + sauna, we went for a quite exquisite dinner. The girls were wearing extreme high heels, fashion pantyhose or lycra bodysuit, mini skirt and corset. We had a table in a separate room, so nobody but the waitress really noticed the unusual nature of their outfits.

At the end of the day, I was a very happy man, and the three of us all had our fair share of fun. Hopefully we can repeat this in one way or the other. The most difficult part obviously is finding a combination of people where there are no hard feelings, nobody gets envious or jealous but rather enjoys the closeness of two other people rather than just one.

TV series on escorts / prostitution

I've recently watched the first three episodes of the Australian TV series Satisfaction, but have to admit that I didn't really like it all too much. The Sex scenes are just like most boring soft porn, and the story-telling is too non-linear for my taste. Sometimes you don't know if you're in the present or past and what is going on. Always trying to find something optimistic about everything, I decided that it is probably good for training your listening comprehension of Australian [or maybe specifically Melbourne] English.

What is much more interesting and actually a lot of fun is Secret Diary of a Call Girl. Unfortunately each episode is really short, and every season is only 8 episodes. The main character (Belle/Hannah) appears very authentic. Very human, indeed. The kind of girl that I would adore for what she's doing ;)

Taiwanese fashion sales girls

It seems to be a custom in Taiwan that sales girls working in somewhat smaller fashion outlets and boutiques have to dress/style up - quite often actually wearing some of the items that this particular shop sells.

I think that somehow makes them to something like living mannequins. In addition to the actual clothes, often accompanied by very heavy makeup, high heels (maybe even platform heels). Very fascinating. In fact, they might be a bigger attraction than the actual shop.

And I honestly appreciate the amount of effort they put in their styling, especially if they are no natural beauties at all.

Perverted terminology - on the use of language

As D/s is something that happens a lot in the mind, rather than the body, language and more specifically the use of language plays an important role in it. Our thoughts are always connected to language, after all.

One of the reasons why I actually like to call myself a pervert is the actual perverted (in the meaning of twisted, distorted, skewed) terminology.

So if society has a certain norm on what constitutes a good girl, then I have a definition of it that is very twisted, and probably closer to the opposite of the mainstream definition. Typically, society would consider the following attributes in line with their definition of a good girl: decent, chaste, monogamous, heterosexual.

My definition of a good girl is in line with my perverted values and norms, like sexually open-minded in any possible way, bisexual, a desire to show herself off, strong sex drive, vain.

So just like in this case, many terms have a totally different definition to me than to other people. Somebody who becomes part of my world will inevitably also learn about this perverted terminology. Thus, a woman entering my world can still strive to be a good girl, just with a very different definition of what constitutes 'good'.

Happy, Lucky and busy

With respect to my last posting about one month ago, I can happily report that my (sexual, personal) life has changed quite significantly since then. Who would have thought that I'd be finding somebody to not only share my perversities with, but also a loving and caring partner at the same time?

Well, sometimes wonders do happen. And it's not even my doing. The girl was after me, not the other way around :) It sounds like a phantasy from the geek paradise, but I now have living proof that there actually are girls who dig pervert geeks! For the ease of the language in the remainder of this and future articles, we shall call her Jane Random Pervert.

So the last couple of weeks have not only been incredibly busy from a "professional life" point of view, but also busy exploring my new partner, her personality and [last, but not least] her sexuality. She's even more open-minded than I am, which I deeply respect. There's almost nothing that she wouldn't try at least once :)

One definitely new experience for me was to perform fisting. I've always been curious how hard it is, how it makes me feel, and how the person being fisted reacts. To my big surprise, Jane is very experienced with it, and had no problems whatsoever taking all of my fist into her vagina. For me, it was an interesting sensation of power and control. Being able to please and inflict pain at the 'twist of a finger' in the most intimate spot. And being pleased by noticing how much those intense feelings are being received by my willing victim. All in all, a lot of fun. But well, I guess you could call it cheating on my side, since there was no need for any kind of training/widening the subject to finally be rewarded for taking the whole hand.

You might consider it a lack of taste, but we've actually done "CAT6 cable bondage" (who needs bondage rope if there's network cabling in various lengths?). Unfortunately I was too fascinated to take some pictures. But this shall be repeated in short time.

Desperate and busy

My never-ending busy travel schedule currently hardly gives me enough time to spend for even one consecutive week at any given place, not even at home. This is extremely annoying, and it needs to stop. Some business related travel scheduled for end-of-november therefore definitely is the last travel I'm going to schedule. I'll try to stay at least half a year in my home town afterwards.

Why am I telling you all this? Because it severely interferes with my personal / private / sex life. Actually, it doesn't interfere, but rather kills that part of life completely. What would be the point even to try to meet a 'suitable woman' if I would not be able to spend any time with her?

So all I can do is dream about what I could or would do, if I had the time and was able to find a suitable woman for sharing my dirty little phantasies and actually living

Anyway. There's one thing that I'm getting more and more certain every single day: I am not looking for any soul-mate or intellectually interesting partner anymore. All I'm interested in right now is to be able to once again live out my dominant and sadistic side again. This does not at all mean that I wouldn't be interested in a serious relationship. Yes, I would love it to be serious, and durable. Being able to dominate and control my partner, and to love her in return for all her devotion and submission.

It's really making me feel sad and sick not to be able to have anyone to share this side of life with. I need to change that soon, otherwise I'll get mad. Until that point, this blog will unfortunately be very quiet, I fear. I'll continue as soon as 'my life' resumes.

The beauty of suffering. Suffering for beauty? Being vain?

In almost all of my prior journal entries here I have cut into the subject of some woman being restricted or suffering one way or the other by some item of attire, such as corsets, high heels, hobble skirts, gloves, etc.

As it seems, this subject is of quite some significance to me. It is the message that I receive by a woman wearing such attire: "I will take whatever amount of suffering in order to look good [to you], in order to attract, to please [you]. I will be rewarded by the reaction, the approval, the arousal of those people looking at me. I _am_ like they only dare to dream."

This basically means she is submitting herself. In case it's a submissive play partner, than submission to the dress/style preferences of the partner is only consequential. But in the case of a complete stranger, it is submission to the perceived (perverted?) wishes/desires of a certain subculture, or in some cases even mainstream.

In mainstream fashion, we already see quite some level of submission to fashion, albeit in a very different way. Women who voluntarily or involuntarily, consciously or subconsciously, submit themselves to whatever the fashion industry pushes down their throat. To most women I think it is some kind of external pressure, to which they obey. Not something associated with a conscious act of submission, and not particularly sexualized / eroticized, if at all.

Many women, especially those subject to a good degree of vanity, will claim that they are doing this for themselves, not particularly to attract men (although that might be a by-product). I think they'll actually do it because they're slaves to the fashion and beauty industry and their gigantic advertisement and PR campaigns. Nothing erotic about that :(

In the goth, fetish and BDSM subculture there are a lot of people who exploit this strain of vanity in their own way: The conscious submission to a particular ideal of beauty. One that is perverted, one that intends to please the sexuality of the beholder. Going to more extreme fashion, dare to arouse other people by how you style yourself. Consciously turning yourself into a sex goddess (or slut, or love toy, object, depending on your personal phantasy and which role you like to play). But it's a role in a game, something that you can start and stop voluntarily. Something that both you and the people who appreciate such behavior will enjoy.

I think this kind of conscious kinky game is much more healthy (in both mainline society and subculture) than any kind of subconscious pressure and conditioning that we see a lot with people who never think about such issues, and just behave like society / the fashion + beauty industry expects them to behave.

General Notes (please read!)

This blog contains phantasies and thoughts of as well as accounts of sexual deviation. Some readers might be upset about one or the other bit of perversion found here.

I am a firm believer in SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual). To me, any activity that two [or more] mature and physically sound adults consensually agree to engage in, is perfectly acceptable, provided that nobody else is harmed in any way. Who would we be, if we were to judge what they ought to do or not do?

Since I am (during BDSM play) a dominant and partially sadistic heterosexual male, most of the time I will be talking about a submissive/masochistic female partner. This does by no means imply that I support the [involuntary] supression of women in any way. In real life, I am a honest and caretaking person, who is very left-liberal and has no problem whatsoever with womens emancipation or the like.

If you still fell uncomfortable, try switching the gender of the roles while reading, or just don't read. Nobody forces you to read what you disaprove or don't like.