I've recently read The Heart of Dominance A Guide to Practicing Consensual Dominance by Anton Fulmen. I think it's meant as a deep, but introductory text into the theory of D/s, and I thought it might be good to use that as a trigger of some sort to re-visit my own views, feelings and experiences from various angles given I haven't done so for many years. It's a very good read, in my opinion. It did make me intellectually conscious about (and remind/reinforce) aspects of D/s that I only practiced on a more subconscious, intuitive level before.

While reading about positive and negative reinforcement, punishments and rewards it occurred to me that I once had a D/s relationship with a submissive partner whom I do not recall to have needed to punish even once. Initially I thought I might have forgotten something and tried to remember more of what we did back in the day. Very interesting! As the opportunity presented itself, I asked her about it, and she agreed: She also didn't remember any such instance.

And no, this doesn't mean what we had was no D/s. It very much was, and even now in 20 years of hindsight we both consider it a very well, possibly the best working D/s dynamic that we experienced.

This is definitely a thought to explore further. My initial take is that it merely shows that I'm not a sadist and she was not masochistic. She was very eager to please me, and I was eager to be pleased. I'd say it was a loop of her devotion to whatever kinky rules and demands I come up with, and my sincere appreciation for that devotion to meet my needs and wishes, which she recognized and the circle started again.

To be fair, when I said no punishment I mostly meant the stereotypical punishments involving pain, like spankings. That didn't happen. I suppose there would have been inherently other/milder forms of negative reinforcement, such as expressing my disapproval of something that may have been done in a better way. I don't recall explicit situations for that, but I know that's very well in my nature. So I don't think we're talking about a lack of consequence here. Both positive and negative reinforcement existed.

I'll post an update if more memories, discoveries or conclusions about this topic should arise. One thing that keeps puzzling me is why I never consciously realized this fact before. I did of course notice and recognize that this particular D/s dynamic worked extremely well compared to others. But it seems I embarrassingly never noticed one of the key aspects: The need for no (painful) punishments.

At least one question remains open: Is the lack for need of (painful) punishments merely a sign of how good our D/s needs matched?

Or is it the other way around: As she never was overchallenged by my requests, and extremely devoted to fulfill them, we never had to reach a point where punishment was needed. Having a working dynamic without painful punishments might then have become what turned it into such a great experience?

In the end it's hard to find causality here. Those are more or less two sides of the same coin. I guess the question is how much need there is on either side for punishments to keep the dynamic going. In our specific case, we clearly provided the evidence that neither of us needed it.

A common theme in D/s, specifically also in my kinky world is the concept of the dominant training their submissive. This can encompass many things, dependent on the specific kinks of the partners involved. For example in my kinky world, repeating themes of training include:

• deep throat training - improving the ability of the submissive to handle cocks and dildos deep into her throat, overcoming/managing the associated gag reflex and managing her breathing.

• corset training - practising and improving the duration (and extent of lacing) the submissive can wear corsets.

• high heels training - practising and improving the duration (and heel height) the submissive can wear high heels; can include muscle and stretching exercises like those done by ballet dancers.

• posing/posture training - practising being on display for my viewing (and groping) pleasure

To me, the following aspects make training interesting for me:

The submissive can improve herself and her skills + capabilities to [even better] satisfy her dominants wishes. She can show her devotion by investing considerable time and effort, and the dominant can recognize, appreciate and adore her for that devotion. She can do something that makes him proud, and in return she can get and feel his approval and pride in her and her [improved] abilities.

One aspect that can be a source of confusion is the question to what end or with what goal is the training performed? When is it complete? In my view, there are of course immediate goals. To give some examples

• a set amount of time per day of wearing a specific corset laced to a specific extent.

• a dildo of a certain diameter that can be shoved down her throat, or a certain duration she can keep it there.

• the length of a dildo gag that she can endure wearing for a certain period of time

When whatever such goal has been reached, she should be appreciated, complimented and rewarded in some way (the latter of course highly depends a lot on the specific person and what would be a reward to them).

But to me, usually, it doesn't have to stop there - at least not immediately. The point of training is not just to learn something once, but to keep practicing and if possible, improving upon it. One can always try to deep throat longer, wear larger dildo gags, wear a tighter corset or wear it longer, etc. Eventually, at some point of course, a limit is reached where it's no longer safe or physically impossible. Or where it's simply too painful to endure, compared to the amount of recognition/appreciation/reward/pride the submissive is getting out of it. And then of course it's time to stop and possibly go back a step.

But even then, it's not over. There are always other things that a good girl can be trained in, even when she's (in the above example) the most skilled deep throating cock sucker; or even when she has reached the limit of how much corset lacing she can take. Then one can gladly move to another topic and train her there.

I think the subject areas/topics are up to debate by the couple, and ideally some topics/goals are chosen which both sides find attractive in a kinky [or any other] way. That doesn't always have to be the case, but if not, then maybe pick one subject from his wishlist, and one from hers, and start them in parallel. of course, if she's so submissive that for her it's all about doing whatever, as long as under his command/instruction: So be it.

What about, for example, training:

• the amount of time she can keep my hard to semi-hard cock in her mouth (I have quite a lot of endurance)

• the amount of times she can get me off within one day

• the amount of times she can seduce me to fuck her within a day (seduction skills can never be overrated)

• her ability to have multiple [possibly even forced] orgasms

• the degree of revealing / sexy / slutty clothes she is willing to wear when going out together in public

• the extent of being on public display she can handle; whether at a kinky party or even in general public

• how much sexual activity she dares to enjoy in semi-overt or overt public situations

• her ability to perform sexy lap dance, pole dance, belly dance or other forms of showing off her body for [at least] my pleasure. Needles to say, I'm happy to pay for classes.

• the flexibility of her body; stretching exercises are sexy to watch, and increased flexibility can be very useful during many sexual positions or for bondage.

• how long she can be kept horny/randy/needy without release and what she's willing to do to get release

So to summarize this post: Yes, training is of course in the short term about achieving some kind of improvements and reaching some goals. But for the longer term, it's far more than that, I believe it is an end in itself. It's all about the journey of her improving her skills in her submissive role - and my role in enabling, motivating, guiding, encouraging and appreciating her on her journey.

It's about trying new and more things, reaching the [current] limits and potentially (though not necessarily) at some point pushing those limits further out and see if she can do it and how it makes her (and me!) feel.

In this post I'll try to summarize my interest in sex toys.

My main interest in sex toys are toys for the female physique. And there it's not something in specific, but basically whatever pushes her buttons. Whether that's plugs, love balls, [remotely controlled] vibrating toys, dildos, you name it.

My main use case for those is to turn her on, or to keep her excited. To fuel her state of arousal. To make her horny and in need of sexual release. And to eventually provide her that release, ideally under my approval/authorization.

I particularly enjoy using such sex toys in covert situations. Like in an everyday situation where she is wearing some toy inserted in some part of her body. Nobody knows about it except she and I. But she can feel it all the time, knowing that it is a token of her body belonging to me. Ideally that turns her on at a mental level, beyond the physical stimulation. She knows she's a good girl if she has her pussy / butt / ... stuffed with a token of her master.

Some of the particularly exciting situations involving sex toys I have had the pleasure to experience:

• my partner wearing love balls (aka ben-wa balls) during her work day, to university, or other every-day situations

• my partner wearing love balls during vaginal intercourse. I guess many women would think "ouch" but everyone is different. The specific woman really enjoyed it. For me, the feeling was "ok"; it was great to see what it did to her, though.

• my partner wearing a vaginal plug (or dildo panties) while riding pillion on my motorbike

• my partner wearing love balls while riding pillion on my motorbike. As usual, the experience is different from person to person. If it doesn't do anything for her, it doesn't do nearly as much for me. If she likes it, cobble stone roads of course are the best track to use :)

• my partner wearing love balls during a spanking, where each impact translates to vibrations of the balls

• my partner wearing a remote-controlled vibrating toy while we're out for dinner, in the cinema, or the like

• my partner wearing a butterfly vibrator strapped between her legs, a TENS unit attached to her buttocks and a ball gag while preparing food in the kitchen (side note: on high heels, wearing latex stockings, a latex dress, laced into a corset and wearing opera length latex gloves for the additional challenge). It was as much bliss for me watching her, as it was for her experiencing it.

When I have my partner around, I don't need any sex toys for my self. My partner is supposed to be my ideal sex toy. She should be willing to please me in whichever way I enjoy, and she should share my joy by knowing how happy she makes me by serving me. And she should thrive on the recognition, thanks, love and rewards I can give her in return. Playing with my female sex toy in this context also is not limited to fucking her, but any kind of playing in the sense of playing like a child plays with a toy. In this context I can play with her arousal, denial, satisfaction. Potentially also with her embarrassment [in public].

I really do think a woman that allows me to play with her this way is the only toy I need as an adult.

In my flavour of D/s (which really is who/what I am, not some kind of role or play I put on for an hour), I intrinsically prefer what I am hereby naming transactionalism. I'm aware this word already has its definition in philosophy but I don't really want to study philosophy to see if my definition agrees with what they have stipulated.

So what do I mean by transactionalism here? Imagine a situation where Sub, for example, expresses her wish to cuddle despite me being busy (as I often am). Then I don't want to just say yes because she wants it and I'd of course also enjoy it. I want her to have to do something to please me. Something to show me that she is willing to walk the extra mile for me. So my intrinsic response to her request, almost at a reflex level would be: Yes, but only if you are a good girl and put on your catsuit. Now of course it doesn't always have to be a catsuit, but something else that we both know that I will enjoy a lot.

Another example situation could be: Sub wants me to accompany her to some place/event, like shopping or a meeting with friends or whatever. To clarify the situation let's assume it's some kind of event that I probably wouldn't have chosen to go to myself. Let's say a Museum that's not not within my area of interest. Then I don't want to say "yes" just because I love her, or because I want to be there for her. I want to do it because she does something for me. So my response could be Yes, but only if you're a good girl and wear a properly laced corset under your sufficiently short dress with pantyhose underneath. It could of course also be something else, like Yes, but only if you are a good girl and wear a remote controlled vibrating toy in your pussy or Yes, but only if you earn it by giving me a blowjob before and afterwards (or in a break during the event, or whatever).

And one can of course play with the above: Whatever sub has to do in order to get her wish fulfilled can of course depend on how much an ask it is. In the end, I would say I can be convinced to do virtually anything, if only whatever the "bribe" she will do in return is high enough. Does that make me less dominant or less in control? I don't think so. It's still my decision to determine the task ("price"), and I can of course still say no.

After some time, it is fair to assume that for repeating, regular, common things, standard payment terms are established either explicitly or implicitly. For example, taking the above example (Sub wants me to cuddle while I'm busy with something else): She would know that I'd ask her to wear a catsuit and put that on even before asking to cuddle. That's basically then more or less the same as if we had established a formal rule (rules are common in D/s, after all). She could then dress accordingly, come to me, do a little show off her body/outfit and basically seduce me to cuddle. And if she wants to be super sure I'll go along no matter how important I think my current task is, she might add something else, like platform heels, a corset, a ball gag or whatever she knows will certainly push my buttons.

I really do love that kind of transactional dynamics. And I do like to use this mechanism to get her to do (or wear, endure) more and more of what I want. So absolute pricing is potentially going to increase over time, but at the same time, ideally, she should be more used to the things I ask of her, so the amount of discomfort/effort/difficulty should be getting lower.

All of I also the above doesn't mean I don't like her. I just want to see that she will go the extra mile to please me. Also, it offers her as a submissive a chance to get virtually anything she wants - just as long as it is important enough for her to pay the price.

In my experience it is very important what Sub feels when confronted with this. Does she like the challenge of the things I ask her to do? Does she love the feeling of giving me what I need? Does it make her happy to know that she is fulfilling my deepest desires? Does she enjoy being a good girl, no matter how I may define that? Is she proud of being able to do what I ask of her? Then this kind of dynamic can work well. But if she only looks at it as a chore, and it's just painful / annoying without some level of satisfaction, gratification, arousal or other form of enjoyment, then it's likely not going to work out.

I've been into skintight lycra/spandex for as long as I am sexually active, or rather actually as long as I recall ever getting aroused sexually. It was 5th or 6th grade when girls wearing skintight shiny lycra leggings (at school as sportswear or part of their regular outfits) really caught my attention. I did my best not to stare - and until today I think I'm doing a great job to disguise my fascination/attraction whenever in public or other situation where it is not appropriate.

Ever since I've had no choice but to make sure any of my girlfriends/partners wear lycra as much as possible in the given circumstances. The nice part about this fetish is that it (like pantyhose) can be as inconspicuous as it gets. There are may ways a woman can combine wearing lycra (particularly leggings) with in every-day fashion without the vanilla majority of the general public out there noticing anything unusual. Nobody would consider her a freak for that - definitely different from e.g. latex.

To me, the best type of garment made from lycra is of course the catsuit. Ideally with attached socks, so that it covers the wearer from toe to neck.

Throughout the 1992-2020 period, the material that I enjoy most hasn't really changed. It was always the usual 80% Polyamide + 20% Lycra/Elasthane mix. Sure, there were companies performing various treatments of the surface of the fabric. I didn't like most of them, as they tended to make it less smooth to the touch. And to me (at least for a partner whom I obviously want to touch), the smooth feel is just as important as the looks. But fundamentally, the plain lycra fabric that I've known and loved for decades has not changed.

In recent years however, several Chinese brands of lycra-like garments have appeared: Most notably LEOHEX and AMORESY. While on the pictures it may just loos like any regular lycra [maybe slightly more shiny], you immediately note the difference when touching it: It is so much smoother than any Lycra I've touched ever before. The material itself is also thinner, and possibly a bit more stretchy, so it provides for an even tighter fit around the body.

Sadly there is no publicly available reference to where this material originates from (manufacturer), or what makes its production process different from that of regular lycra fabrics. At least I was unable to find anything about it.

My suspicion is that it relates to the density of knitting stitches. It seems those new fabrics are made from finer threads/fibers and more knitting stitches per inch than anything I had experienced previously. As I have yet to see any proper term to denote them, I'll refer to them as HD-Lycra (High Density Lycra) from now on.

To my fetish, this HD-Lycra fabric is even more attractive than the classic Lycra fabrics from the decades before. I would put its haptic attractivity somewhere between classic Lycra and Latex. This means I can hardly keep my fingers away from it once my partner wears it. Its so super-smooth!

Latex is still rated significantly better on my fetish scale, but since Latex is so much more complicated (difficult to put on, having to lube up, manual washing, very costly, easy to tear, ...) those HD-Fabrics offer a much more convenient alternative/compromise: They're still breathable (and can hence be worn much more extended time), they are comparatively inexpensive, can be machine washed and it's easy to dress/undress.

Sadly the above-mentioned new Chinese brands producing HD-Lycra catsuits do not (as far as I know) manufacture any catsuits with crotch zippers. That may be nice if you want to keep the wearer in chastity. I can appreciate that at times, but I'm not the kind of guy who wants their partner to live in long-term chastity. However, I do want my partner wearing lycra catsuits long-term. Luckily, the HD-Lycra (like its predecessor) doesn't tear if you cut it with scissors. So one can cut strategically placed opening[s] in the crotch area to access certain relevant parts down there - both relevant male and female parts (at different locations).

It's an extremely interesting and very sensual experience if both wear HD-Lycra catsuits. There's almost no friction between the two catsuits, so you can slide/glide parts of your body on parts of your partners in a way that's impossible naked (unless you would both cover your entire bodies in lube).

In my kinky mind, there are certain features, behaviours or other things a woman can do that turn her into what I think of a proper woman, a good girl, or whatever term one wants to use. For me those are more or less interchangeable also with proper slut or proper fucktoy...

To give some examples (not an exhaustive list) of what I am thinking of:

• wearing shiny, skintight clothes [even in public]

• enduring the discomfort of high [platform] heels

• wearing corsets either as under or outerwear, particularly properly laced real steel-boned corsets

• maintaining a shapely body and showing it off with figure-hugging clothes [not naked!]

• putting effort in her make-up

• various forms of body modifications (piercings, silicone implants, ...)

• learning + performing pole dance / belly dance / table dance / gogo dance

• working on her flexibility / contortion

• showing submissive behaviour towards a dominant partner [of any gender]

• working as a (amateur or professional) fetish model, camgirl

• training her deep throat skills, or really any skill that improves/extends her sexual capabilities

• having a very strong sex drive up to sex addiction

In this context, it doesn't really matter if she does that for me. I can feel a very deep appreciation, or even adoration for a woman who matches [parts of] my definition of proper behavior, of being what I consider a good girl. This doesn't mean that I would automatically sexually desire her. It just makes me happy to see that there are some females out there who share at least some of my kinky thoughts about what is proper dress and/or proper behaviour.

I'm of course not a shrink, but I guess it has something to do with feeling that I'm not alone with my dreams/desires, and that not the entire rest of the world fails to understand me and my kinky side. It re-affirms to me that I'm not completely crazy, or at least that there are others who share my craziness and that we as a group think of the majority of the vanilla people out there that they are the weird ones, but not we/us with our kinkiness

Now don't get me wrong: I of course appreciate and adore any of those properties in a partner, where I'm then the primary beneficiary of her kinky amazing-ness. But even if she is not my partner, we don't know each other at all and even if I'd never even phantasize of ever having anything with her, then it still makes me very happy every time I see a good girl out there, somewhere. Thanks to all of you good girls out there, you bring joy to my life.

I recently started to use tumblr for creating a blog/feed containing re-posts of my favorite pictures from other people's tumblr blogs/feeds.

This is primarily sort of a bookmark list for myself, but then I don't mind sharing publicly my favorite pic[k]s. Please note that all credits of course go to the original models, photographers, make-up artists. I'm just re-blogging / re-posting, and not contributing any works of art myself.

So in case you're interested, feel free to check it out at http://joerandompervert.tumblr.com/.

I blogged about my remote control related ideas a couple of years ago, but wanted to refine / extend that a bit.

The main idea is still the concept of being able to reward and punish her invisibly. This can be very handy in public places, where other forms of sexual stimulation or punishment are not possible. There are situations in play parties or in presence of kinky friends where that is possible, but let's say in an office setting, face-slapping definitely has the potential to upset a lot of other people, who won't understand.

One further idea is to use this remote control device for communication, at least uni-directional from master to slave (both in technical as well as bdsm context). The idea would be to use Morse code or a similar alphabet, delivered by very mild electro stimulation. The pulses in that case should be clearly noticeable, but not cause any pain.

So you'd have to teach your slave/sub/toy to read (feel) Morse code and interpret it. That's not too hard, and anyone is able to learn it with some practise. The text could be sent from a computer or (more likely) a smartphone, e.g. by means of an SMS based interface, or even a TCP/IP baaed protocol. The remote-controlled device could be connected via Bluetooth to the phone of the slave/sub.

As a result you have a way to give instruction to your willing sub, without having to speak them out. It's like having a secret language that nobody can understand, but even better in a sense that nobody is even aware of such communication going on. Just imagine a situation where you are in some kind of formal meeting, and you want to give your sub the instruction to open her legs slightly, for your or somebody elses benefit. You cannot really say it aloud, and even whispering it into her ear may be too conspicuous. So you can send that instruction via Morse code. If she doesn't comply, you can use the punishment mode and increase her motivation to follow your orders. If she complies, you could also reward her with some vibration.

I really like that idea of secretly and invisibly taking control of her, without having to speak up. I hope some of the readers equally enjoy this concept. I hope to turn it into reality with a willing submissive girl that wants to be remote controlled that way.

A number of people get their kink from what is generally described as degradation / humiliation. As a practical example, a slave/sub can be forced to show her self off in a slutty way in public. Or even in private, some people consider it degradation or humiliation if the dom is calling the sub a slut/whore/fucktoy/...

I also like to see and treat my partner that way. But I somehow fail how that would be a degradation. To me, my partner that is making herself available to be my slut/whore/fucktoy is worth more than before. So from my point of view, this is not a degradation from the previous status, but actually a promotion. The latter is worth more to me than the former.

So once again this shows the true meaning of the word perverted. What some people or maybe even the general public considers to be worth less, I consider to be worth much more.

The same happens to good girl vs. bad girl. To me, my partner is a good girl, if she's nasty, kinky, perverted. On the other hand, if she were to ignore her kinky side and prefer to be vanilla, she I would consider it a bad girl.

In a number of my previous posts on my various fetishes for items like corsets, high heels and other constrictive clothing, I have primarily focused on the suffering for beauty aspect. While this is certainly the predominant reason, there is yet another one: Wearing a corset or high heels makes the woman wearing them helpless.

Since her movements are restricted in some ways, she is more likely to require support or assistance from the man on her side: She has to depend on his support for safely walking in stiletto heels on a street paved with cobble stone or other less ideal surfaces. A tight corset will prevent her from bending down far enough to reach her own feet to tie (or even more importantly:untie) her shoelaces, or to pick up something from the floor. Once again, she will have to rely on somebody else's help.

Wearing some kind of gloves (satin, Lycra, latex, ...) also adds a bit to the helplessness. A lot of things are much more difficult when wearing gloves, starting from the most simple of tasks such as turning pages of a book to typing on a computer keyboard. Sure, it can be done, it requires extra effort and that's where we're back to the suffering for beauty concept comes into place. But in addition to that, there is the feeling of being helpless and having to rely on somebody else (her master), becoming more dependent.

Today I've started to twitter using the 'randompervert' twitter account.

This will provide me an opportunity to provide more frequent and short/concise updates, mostly from my phone while I'm travelling. It helps to capture thoughts as they occur, in real-time. It's much easier to write a 140 character message containing one thought than to sit down and write a blog post.

This blog hasn't been updated in ages. In fact, ever since I became seriously involved in my last relationship, I didn't really have the desire to update the blog. I don't really understand why that is (maybe this is subject of a future blog post). But what I definitely do know: Now that this relationship has unfortunately come to an end, the desire to blog about my kinky side has immediately returned.

So here I am again. And my luck seems to have left me. No more sexy/slutty girl around to cheer me up. Lots of plans suddenly vaporized. Lots of high-end Jacquard fabric for corsets that were never made. Lots of high heels, made-to-measure Lycra suits, fashion pantyhose and other items that I will never be able to see and feel on the woman I loved and still love in many ways.

No, I don't want to drown in self-pity. But it is definitely very sad, and besides the loss of a great partner in a relationship, there is the loss of the fetish object that she was in addition to being a beloved person. Two losses in one, so to speak. Time for self-reflection and hopefully soon for recovery.

As sad as it is, Pleaser has put an end to the GLITZY line of shoes some time ago. Recently I was interested in ordering some GLITZY-509 for my new partner, and it seems they're all out of stock and no longer produced.

The point about GLITZY is that they are relatively comfortable to wear (no pressure on the toes, ...) but still are quite high and wearable. Like an ideal compromise, to be worn fur more extended periods of time than other much more uncomfortable shoes.

Now, due to a friendly hint, it was pointed out to me that there is one German webshop that still had GLITZY-509 in her size in stock. I immediately ordered them yesterday and they arrived today. Thanks :)

I'm sitting in my home office and getting some work done, while in the bedroom next door is a lovely woman dressed in garters, stockings, high heels with her legs spread, moaning in response to the stimulation of one of those butterfly style toys.

Once again the kind of decadence that I like. Having her around and do this kind of stuff, while being able to continue work as usual. As if it was the most normal thing to do. And in fact, to me, it is ideal if this kind of setting feels "normal". Like it should always be. A horny slut at home, shamelessly engaged in pleasing herself sexually any time she wants.

When receiving my latest pleaser order, they included the new catalogue for the upcoming helloween 2009 product line. You can also check it out online at this link. They really have some amazing new products.

I personally am pretty excited about ARENA-2018, ARENA-2012, PATTY-02G, EXOTICA-1050, GANGSTER-15, EXOTICA-2030, EXOTICA-60.

All those new models are an acceptable apology for discontinuing really great older models such as the GLITZY-line (GLITZY-509 was my favorite).

So now the only problem is that the new styles are not yet available. I can't wait until they're available to place my order :)

It just occurred to me that I never actually blogged about my favorite corset maker here: TO.mTO in Berlin, Germany.

As a corset addict for quite some time, I've been doing "test purchases" at all kinds of corset makers over more than the last decade. Some of them very really crappy quality (like Erotex), some of them more decent (like Revanche de La Femme). Some others offer great designs but are only made for occasional wear.

The highest level of overall quality and craftsmanship I have so far found at TO.mTO. They make corsets from made-in-Germany durable fabrics, have a really high production quality and produce corsets that can be worn day-by-day for years without the slightest amount of danger. They're also constantly improving and trying new solutions. They have a lace flap / modesty flap that actually _works_, even if you lace yourself and don't have somebody at hand to pull/fiddle it into the correct place.

For the tight-lacing or restriction inclined folks, they also offer extras like a solid aluminum underbusk that makes the corset so robust that you'll never bend the front busk ever again :)

And obviously, all the corsets are made-to-measure. No matter what kind of unusual form your rib cage has, or if you have a strange shape due to a previously broken rib: They will accommodate all that with no effort.

I have no relationship to TO.mTO and they are not sponsoring this post. I'm merely a corset enthusiast who has been most happy with their products, and has seen many happy women (and men), who would never want to go back to their pre-TO.mTO days after wearing their first TO.mTO corset.

I've been asked a couple of times where I typically buy my Lycra fetish gear. There's three different sources:

1. Danceries
Danceries is a brand of ballet/dancing Lycra fashion, it can be found at numerous actual real-world as well as online shops. So you get the typical leotards, leggings or even single-piece suits. Everything has round-neck, and they don't really sell anything with a back zipper. No made-to-measure or other customizations like attached feet, gloves or zipper through crotch. But definitely "professional quality", i.e. seams so elastic that they never rip, fabric that can sustain a constant cycle of wearing, machine washing and drying for years.

2. AM-Sports
AM-Sports is another supplier for literally hundreds of different items of skintight sportswear. They have any style/pattern you can imagine, accommodate special requests such as attached feet or crotch zippers and have the biggest choice of uni-color Lycra material. Alternatively they also have a selection of shiny effect Lycra, microfiber, velvet, PVC and (god beware) cotton materials in various colors. They don't do made-to-measure, but they offer both regular as well as slim/tall sizes. What I find very special about them are the so-called "vaulting fashion" styles, i.e. single-piece suits to be worn for vaulting. Obviously they're great even without any horses involved :)

3. Fets-Fash/Skintightshop
Fets-Fash is a shop dedicated to the fetish community. Definitely no relation to sportswear here. Unfortunately this also means that their prices can be quite steep. Their specialty is customization with zippers, attached hood, feet, gloves, etc. They have some quite unique animal print and shiny effect Lycra materials. Made-to-measure service is excellent, but comes at a very big surcharge on the base price.

Due to occasional browsing yesterday, I ended up at tightshop.net: One of the few mail order stores for Lycra fetish gear in Germany. I didn't really run into this one before, but it has some quite exceptional items - not just the unicolor or uni-pattern full body suits, or the dancing or cheerleader outfits that are commonplace at other shops.

They actually seem to like the superheroine type of outfits. Not that this is my ultimate personal fetish, but it is very refreshing to see something different and new, made out of my favorite fetish material. The prices are also not as steep as at other shops, and made to measure is 15 EUR extra instead of a 30% surcharge like at other shops.

I am not in the mood to order something right now, but I'm definitely very inclined to order one piece and check out their quality. Be assured that I'll report back to this blog as soon as that happens.

Today, I went to the local Buffalo shoe outlet with my current/recent/new girlfriend and "playmate". Unfortunately (or fortunately for my wallet), a lot of great designs were not available in her size, or were not a good fit. Finally we settled for this great satin/glitter peep toe platform pump, at 13cm it is slightly higher than the magical 5" level :)

I'm currently in the extremely unusual situation of having way more spare time at hand than I've probably had for quite some years. Plus, I'm intentionally offline and all by myself. Apart from reading good books, this also generally gives me a lot of time to think about life, the universe and everything ;)

As it turns out, whenever I'm idle and not otherwise occupied with thoughts, I seem to converge on sex. Not neccessarily actually engaging in sexual activity all the time (though more often than otherwise!) - but thinking and phantasizing a lot.

Maybe triggered by certain recent events (covered in recent blog entries), my sexual mind seems to be revolving quite a bit around doing/having/experiencing whatever I perceive as sexual with multiple women. Of course - like probably 90% of at least caucasian male - I've always thought of it as something fascinating. But it was a very far away dream and not very developed. Now I've apparently had an interesting trigger and my brain has been drawing up all kinds of phantasies. It's definitely a welcome new 'extension'.

Stepping back from it a bit, it only seems very logical. If me, a dominant male, likes the feeling of (even if only temporarily or partially) excerting control or 'owning' a submissive female, why should there be anything strange about wanting that kind of feeling towards multiple subs?

Now obviously even that is very vague. You can just agree on a certain play situation and do that with the particular people in question. Once it's over, everyone minds their own business and you maybe reflect about everyones feelings at some point later. Or you can aim for an actual relationship with multiple people. Which is something that I've traditionally not been able to imagine. I've been in touch with a lot of people who practise polyamory, and at least for the time being I decided that it's not really my way of life. It's hard enough to maintain one serious relationship, let aside running multiple at the same time. But then, that probably really depends on the specific nature of such a relationship. It will certainly not work for the kind of ideal relationship that I've traditionally been looking for: Where you basically try to be as close together as possible, you live together, spend most of your time together, possibly even work together. Now if the relationsips in question are of a quite different type, then the answer might very well be different.

On a sidenote, honestly speaking: It has always puzzled me why to most people tend to think of sexuality as something they only have either as one-night-stands with people they rarely know (and don't want to know) or inside a well-established love-relationship. I would dream of a world where it would not be taboo to have sensual and sexual encounters with people whom are otherwise your friends. Would be great if it was normal to "just be friends", feel close to each other and also share that closeness on a physical level. To me, tenderness, sensuality and sex in all its flavours is something that I want to experience with a [female] person that is close to me. A person that I can trust, one that I feel confident in sharing something very personal with. So who would be better suited than [female] friends? But then, for most people it is a big deal, and I certainly also don't want to risk the friendship. But at least from my side, I don't see the risk. The worst thing that I can imagine is that I would rather not do it again and continue as before, consider it as "an experiment".

I have the feeling that this entire posting is now fairly chaotic. Let me try to summarize what I'm trying to say:

• I've always been in favour of more sexualization of everything in life, including "regular friendships".
• I've not been 100% in favour of monogamy, at least not if I am honest with myself.
• I still think very awkward of one-night stands
• I'm still deterred by the complexity of polyamory as I perceive it.
• I'm dreaming/phantasizing about living my fetish and D/s encumbered sexuality with more than one partner (at the same time, not really in two separate relationships) and definitely open to try it, should the opportunity arise.

Following-up to the successful day bathing/swimming/dining with the two fetish girls, I decided to take them out to the current revue at the famous Berlin Friedrichstadtpalast.

I sent detailed instructions about my outfit preferences, and they both wore shiny black Lycra on their legs, a tight-fitting corset, matching skirt as well as high-necked Lycra or velvet leotard underneath the corset. Both were wearing the same Pleaser ELECTRA-2036 platform boots.

Before and after the show, as well as during the breaks they were obviously the two most attractively dressed women in the entire audience. And I was the lucky bastard who could hold one of them in each of his arms, grabbing their tightly corseted waists :)

During the show I was obviously also sitting in between both of them. It was most pleasing to touch and caress their Lycra-clad thighs, shoulders and arms while watching the most excellent performance of the artists on the stage - many of them wearing equally tight-fitting costumes :)

I honestly cannot remember the last time I had that much fun than those last two days. Makes me feel like the most lucky man on the planet :)

During the last week I had the great pleasure of going out with two fetish girls at my side.

The first trip was to a public pool/bath, where both girls were wearing skintight lycra bodysuits in bright blue and green, clearly different from the typical bikinis that other female visitors would be waring. We hugged/cuddled/kissed/fondled quite a bit while bathing/swimming in the various different pools.

It was an absolutely great feeling, for two distinct reasons:

• First, being a lycra fetishist, I obviously enjoyed watching the two girls, and especially being able to touch them as much as I please ;)
• Second, the feeling that everyone could see that I was not only with one girl, but with two girls, and that we were obviously having a lot of fun beyond the traditional one-male/one-female model of relationships. This is just the kind of decadence that I like. I bet a number of the people who were watching dreamt of doing something like this themselves, but just didn't have a chance to experience it yet.

The experience was great, we did not get any comments at all, and the looks from other people where not negative in any way, maybe curious or amused. One of the girls was asked what kind of suit she was wearing while she was alone for a couple of minutes. But even that was just a curious and question of an interested person.

After the day in the bath/pool + sauna, we went for a quite exquisite dinner. The girls were wearing extreme high heels, fashion pantyhose or lycra bodysuit, mini skirt and corset. We had a table in a separate room, so nobody but the waitress really noticed the unusual nature of their outfits.

At the end of the day, I was a very happy man, and the three of us all had our fair share of fun. Hopefully we can repeat this in one way or the other. The most difficult part obviously is finding a combination of people where there are no hard feelings, nobody gets envious or jealous but rather enjoys the closeness of two other people rather than just one.

I've recently watched the first three episodes of the Australian TV series Satisfaction, but have to admit that I didn't really like it all too much. The Sex scenes are just like most boring soft porn, and the story-telling is too non-linear for my taste. Sometimes you don't know if you're in the present or past and what is going on. Always trying to find something optimistic about everything, I decided that it is probably good for training your listening comprehension of Australian [or maybe specifically Melbourne] English.

What is much more interesting and actually a lot of fun is Secret Diary of a Call Girl. Unfortunately each episode is really short, and every season is only 8 episodes. The main character (Belle/Hannah) appears very authentic. Very human, indeed. The kind of girl that I would adore for what she's doing ;)

It seems to be a custom in Taiwan that sales girls working in somewhat smaller fashion outlets and boutiques have to dress/style up - quite often actually wearing some of the items that this particular shop sells.

I think that somehow makes them to something like living mannequins. In addition to the actual clothes, often accompanied by very heavy makeup, high heels (maybe even platform heels). Very fascinating. In fact, they might be a bigger attraction than the actual shop.

And I honestly appreciate the amount of effort they put in their styling, especially if they are no natural beauties at all.

On the weekend, I was attending the 3rd Porn Film Festival. One of the more impressive works presented there was the documentary "Jugend und Pornographie" (youth and pornography).

I think it is a valid subject. For my generation and later generations it is normal to grow up with pornography. I was online in BBS networks starting from the age of 10, and I was on the Internet when I was 15 (which, 15 years ago was really special, at least here in Germany). And of course, especially at that time, nobody really gave much thought about how to protect youngsters from the various X-rated material that was available online.

Since data transmission rates were still pretty low, most of the porn that I had at my hands was actual erotic stories. The kind of stuff that you can today still find on ASSTR. There were plenty of message boards in all networks (FIDO, Z-Netz, T-Netz, later Usenet) in both English and German, where people were hanging out and sharing the erotic stories that they've written themselves. Over the years, I collected more and more.

The only graphics you could find at those 2400bps times was 320x240, so not particularly detailed ;) But there already was a difference between scans of porn magazines, actual digital porn productions of commercial porn BBS's and the amateur porn community.

So starting at the age of 11 or 12, I was more or less regularly reading and watching pornographic material. It's obviously hard to judge what kind of influence this had on the development of my personality and sexuality. Obviously it has lead me to at least respect (or even appreciate) the many different forms of sexuality. Everyone has their own likes and dislikes, preferences, etc. I never had the feeling that it was wrong to use porn to get turned on, to derive sexual pleasure from it. Why would I? I was brought up in no religious tradition, and my parents are not particularly conservative, either.

Still, of course, I had to keep it all secret. My parents did definitely not like the idea (as I experienced later when they came to know that I had access to 'physical' porn). They never had (and still have not) any idea at which age I started watching porn, and to what extent I was collecting piles of it. That was one of the advantages if you were a computer nerd and your parents almost computer illiterate. Whatever you had on your computer without any hard evidence on paper or other physical media was absolutely secret. It is a personal computer, after all.

In any case, I think a documentary like the one shown at the festival is a first and humble attempt to start to get a discussion going. Today, every kid is on the Internet. Everyone can click "yes I am 18" and get access to porn. Only the most computer-illiterate kids will be deterred by 'parental filtering' software. They only catch what they know, and they only know the web, which contrary to many peoples' belief is only one particular part of the Internet.

So the fact is that today, more than ever before, youngsters are watching porn. No matter how much it is against the law, and no matter how much their parents try to prevent it. So we have a legal system, combined with ethical norms that are extremely out-of-sync with how reality actually looks like.

This has been going on for something like 10 to 15 now, and still there is no major public debate about this fact. Most parents either don't know or don't care. Or if they care, they are unable to do something about it. Or they feel embarrassed and rather look away because they don't know how what to do. The Kids will do what they want, but obviously not all of them are able to cope with what they see.

I see some analogies to other debates. Like the debate about first-person shooters (action games), where despite some claims not everyone who plays them will turn into an aggressive personality. Just like not everyone who smokes a joint here and there will become a major drug addict later in his life.

However, I do acknowledge the fact that there are some fragile kids that might not do well and that have not yet developed a strategy how to deal with this. Who do not know or learn that relationships can be based on love and emotion, rather than purely on sex. But then, do we try to (and fail anyway) protect them from porn, at the expense of delaying or holding back the sexual development of everyone else?

In any case, the current system of trying to protect teenagers by futile attempts to keep porn away from them is not working. It's not working for at least a decade, and nobody is proposing any real solution or even attempting a public debate about it.

Maybe it's a reflection on how little many people care about sexuality in general. If they deny themselves from exploring their sexuality freely (by religion, society, ethics, ...) why should a younger generation not be denied, too. *sigh*