More spare time resulting in more thoughts about sex

I'm currently in the extremely unusual situation of having way more spare time at hand than I've probably had for quite some years. Plus, I'm intentionally offline and all by myself. Apart from reading good books, this also generally gives me a lot of time to think about life, the universe and everything ;)

As it turns out, whenever I'm idle and not otherwise occupied with thoughts, I seem to converge on sex. Not neccessarily actually engaging in sexual activity all the time (though more often than otherwise!) - but thinking and phantasizing a lot.

Maybe triggered by certain recent events (covered in recent blog entries), my sexual mind seems to be revolving quite a bit around doing/having/experiencing whatever I perceive as sexual with multiple women. Of course - like probably 90% of at least caucasian male - I've always thought of it as something fascinating. But it was a very far away dream and not very developed. Now I've apparently had an interesting trigger and my brain has been drawing up all kinds of phantasies. It's definitely a welcome new 'extension'.

Stepping back from it a bit, it only seems very logical. If me, a dominant male, likes the feeling of (even if only temporarily or partially) excerting control or 'owning' a submissive female, why should there be anything strange about wanting that kind of feeling towards multiple subs?

Now obviously even that is very vague. You can just agree on a certain play situation and do that with the particular people in question. Once it's over, everyone minds their own business and you maybe reflect about everyones feelings at some point later. Or you can aim for an actual relationship with multiple people. Which is something that I've traditionally not been able to imagine. I've been in touch with a lot of people who practise polyamory, and at least for the time being I decided that it's not really my way of life. It's hard enough to maintain one serious relationship, let aside running multiple at the same time. But then, that probably really depends on the specific nature of such a relationship. It will certainly not work for the kind of ideal relationship that I've traditionally been looking for: Where you basically try to be as close together as possible, you live together, spend most of your time together, possibly even work together. Now if the relationsips in question are of a quite different type, then the answer might very well be different.

On a sidenote, honestly speaking: It has always puzzled me why to most people tend to think of sexuality as something they only have either as one-night-stands with people they rarely know (and don't want to know) or inside a well-established love-relationship. I would dream of a world where it would not be taboo to have sensual and sexual encounters with people whom are otherwise your friends. Would be great if it was normal to "just be friends", feel close to each other and also share that closeness on a physical level. To me, tenderness, sensuality and sex in all its flavours is something that I want to experience with a [female] person that is close to me. A person that I can trust, one that I feel confident in sharing something very personal with. So who would be better suited than [female] friends? But then, for most people it is a big deal, and I certainly also don't want to risk the friendship. But at least from my side, I don't see the risk. The worst thing that I can imagine is that I would rather not do it again and continue as before, consider it as "an experiment".

I have the feeling that this entire posting is now fairly chaotic. Let me try to summarize what I'm trying to say:

  • I've always been in favour of more sexualization of everything in life, including "regular friendships".
  • I've not been 100% in favour of monogamy, at least not if I am honest with myself.
  • I still think very awkward of one-night stands
  • I'm still deterred by the complexity of polyamory as I perceive it.
  • I'm dreaming/phantasizing about living my fetish and D/s encumbered sexuality with more than one partner (at the same time, not really in two separate relationships) and definitely open to try it, should the opportunity arise.